They say an old Hairless Ape can't learn new tricks.  Well, Mama seems to be an annoying exception.

Every time she goes over to see Theo's mama, she comes back with some new-fangled idea.  Theo has two sisters - Tara and Tasha - all chocolate labs, like me.  Theo's mama knows a lot about how to look after dogs properly.  I just wish she'd keep it to herself!

So the latest thing is this.  

First Mama goes into the water room and does that buzzing thing that makes it look like she has rabies (freaked me out the first time she did that, but then she bent down and the foam was all gone).

Then she comes into the kitchen and makes me sit.

I know what's coming - I'm not stupid - and I show her that I don't like it, but she does it anyway - that's how mean she is.

She puts a little red thing on her finger and puts some chickeny paste on it.  It smells like chicken but it isn't chicken.  I know - I'm not stupid.

Then she moves my lips and starts rubbing this stuff on my teeth and she goes into my cheeks and behind my big defense-weapon-biting-tooth and she makes me open my jaws so she can reach the teeth in the back and I try to lick the stuff away but she just keeps going and sometimes she even puts more paste on the red thing and she rubs and rubs and I hate it and it just goes on and on and on...

I know I could bite her hand, but I don't - I'm not stupid.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

See Puppy Dog's other twitpics here. 

All the rest of my Twitpics are here.

Hello Friends!

Today Mama took me for a walk in that place where she goes to talk to a nice lady for an hour.  Sometimes I go with Mama when she goes to talk to the nice lady.  I don't know what they talk about but sometimes Mama cries and sometimes she laughs but mostly they just talk a lot.  It all seems very intense.  I just sniff the room to see where the nice lady's Golden Retriever has been and then I lie down and sleep.  OK, OK, sometimes I get bored and I sit in front of the door and make little noises, or I go up to Mama or the nice lady to be petted, but mostly I let them get on with it.

Anyway...

Mama took me for a walk before we went to the nice lady.  We were walking between very big, very naughty houses.  They must have been naughty because Mama kept sighing and saying "Fuuuuuuuuck."

Then we found a place where I could jump into the water!  It was fun!  There were rocks to sniff under and everything!

Anyway...

 I keep losing track of the point of this story.  Sorry.

So we are walking along and we pass a really cute, fluffy, white dog sitting in her Dada's truck. I said hello to her and she said hello to me and I said do you want to play and she said yes and I said but you are up there with your Dada and she said well screw him I don't have my leash on and she jumped out the truck window! 

Mama let me sniff her and circle her and kept calling us to play next to the truck.  We never got to actually play because her Dada ran round to where we were.  Then I realized Mama had been calling us over to the truck to help Cute Dog's Dada grab her!  Mama even opened the truck door so Cute Dog's Dada could make her go back inside!

Mama is a traitor!

She just wants to stop me from having fun with cute girl dogs!  It's SO unfair!

So we carried on walking and I was pissed off.  

I was thinking about how to get Mama back, but then I got distracted by some smells coming from a coffee shop and I forgot what I---

Is that beef?  Mmmmmm....

What was I saying?

Oh, yes.

Anyway...

Then we stopped at a coffee shop and then Mama gave me a teeny tiny piece (she's so selfish) of her banana bread and then we went to see the nice lady and Mama talked a lot and then we went back to the moving den.

And that's when I got my chance for revenge.

Mama put me in the back part of the moving den, my special part.  But she had the door still open and she was arranging things around me when a little dog walked past with a small hairless ape holding its leash.  I decided I wanted to say hello and Mama was not going to keep me from playing this time so I jumped out of the back of the moving den to go see the little dog.

Mama must have tried to grab the extendable leash with her hand but I kept going and so the leash must have burnt her finger because she yelled "OW!" very loudly and the little hairless ape turned his head when she yelled and saw me running towards him and he must've got scared 'cos he looked pale but all I was going to do was say hello to his little dog.  And then Mama was saying sorry to the little hairless ape's mama and sucking her finger and shooing me back to the moving den.

Mama needs to learn that dogs sometimes just need to play and say hello to each other.

HAH!

I think I taught her a lesson today.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello Friends!

You know I told you a few days ago about how I am very precious?  Well, Mama just proved that today.

She basically told me that I am a one and only.

Which makes sense.

Because I am the only me that is me, the only one who barks like me, eats like me, drinks like me, jumps like me, catches a ball like me and chases evil squirrels like me.

It feels great to be reminded of these things... complimenting people is a nice thing to do, remember that.

Well, it felt great, till Dogette stuck her wet nose into my business.

She said that Mama was being mean, and something about sour and a chasm.  I said my kibble isn't sour and we don't live anywhere near the Grand Canyon so she should just shut up.  Dogette said that I am dumb and that she is ignoring me.

But I know that Mama loves me and I heard what Mama said, loud and clear.

Dogette and I had just run to the front door and barked at the man in brown, and Mama said:

 "That's right, Puppy Dog, bark at the UPS man.  You're so original!"

See?  See?

Dogette is full of crap.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog.

Yesterday Aunty Kathy came to visit.  I've never met her before and she was very nice.  She scratched my head and behind my ears and it felt gooooood.

She was sitting on Mama's couch watching the flicker screen, so I jumped up to sit with her.

And I got yelled at!

What is going on?  I always sit up there with Mama.  What's wrong with it all of a sudden?

And what is "Brittle Bone Syndrome" anyway?

Hairless Apes are so weird.

 Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog